It’s not often, especially in recent times, that I sit down to compose an Ironman race recap where I have been completely humbled and disappointed. There were some pretty poor races in Kona earlier in my career, but I’ve been very consistent in my ability to prepare properly and execute well over the past few years of racing. Texas was not one of those races. When the plan is to win, and in less perfect instances, be on the podium, this race clearly did not go according to plan.
Looking back at my spring of training and racing, indications were that my fitness was on track to have a strong performance, but I can be honest with myself that perhaps the mental game was not as sharp as usual. I knew that I did not “have” to perform and chase points in Texas, and that I could take some chances and experiment a little. Still, after a strong performance in St. George 2 weeks prior, I believed the pieces were coming together and I did want the win.
There is a big part of me that wants to say something profound to shed some light on my very average performance, to justify how things went wrong, etc. Truth be told there are no excuses or great reasons that I have found in the short time of reflection post-race. I went into the race healthy, excited to compete, and was right where I needed to be for much of the day. My homestay family was beyond gracious, supportive, and accommodating. I had many supporters on the ground in The Woodlands, and my equipment performed flawlessly. My day started well with me holding the fast swimming front two guys for 2/3rds of the way until I ceded a minute near the end. Still a good swim, and one that allowed me to bridge early in the bike to be with some other contenders. Halfway through the bike I was pushing away from the others, and riding within myself leading the race. Likely I was losing a lot more fluid than I realized, and was obviously not perfectly adapted to the hot and humid conditions in Texas, but I came off the bike in a great position to win, or at least contend for the top spots.
But the opening miles of the marathon told me quickly something was not right. My stomach was hurting a bit, but the real limiter was that my head was cooked. I ran steady for the first loop before the wheels started to come off and I did not seem to be able to stay on top of fluid or staying cool. By the midpoint, I was stopped and covering myself with ice, and sprung a nasty bloody nose shortly after. At this moment, I was still in an ok position relative to the others, but was concerned about my nosebleed which had never happened before, and about being overheated and dehydrated with my eyes having trouble focusing. After a fair bit of time at the aid station, I rejoined the procession and resolved to finish. It was important to me, and I knew that I could get the job done. Of course there is some embarrassment for me finishing well behind my goals and standards, but I would be more embarrassed to quit when it was still possible and relatively safe to continue. My sponsors, my family, fiancée, friends, supporters, and other athletes deserve that much, and I am programmed to finish what I start.
As always, many lessons learned, some probably relearned. The main one is probably that there is much more gained through mistakes and failed performances than through the successful ones, and I will use this race to be better moving ahead. I’m disappointed because I want to win, because I want to show others that the belief they place in me is well-founded, and that’s a good thing. I care, and I will be back to try again.
Thank you to all my supporters, from Kelsey and my parents, sister, and close family, to all my incredible sponsors and fans. We’ll see you at the next one…